Breaking up with a BFF is the hardest thing i’ve ever done

It isn’t easy breaking up with a friend - especially a “BFF” but there are times in our lives like any relationship, where we have to question if the friendship is growing and prospering or is it stagnant and toxic to our lives? I’ve had many friends share the same dilemma and it isn’t any easier than a break up with a boyfriend- in fact, I would argue that it’s even more difficult.

I’ve recently parted ways with a very dear friend of almost 30 years. It’s hard to say why we stayed together and sometimes it’s hard to say why we aren’t still friends. All relationships have their ups, downs, good times and bad times so why is this any different? I guess we change; we grow into the person we want to become and that doesn’t always suit the people around us. And sometimes we just wake up one day and question the people we are surrounding ourselves with and how positive is that to our growth and potential? Is it holding us back or helping us to excel?

My ex BFF has a lot of a great qualities and when I go through particularly stressful, emotional or challenging times I miss her honesty, her genuine spirit and the sister like ability she had of setting me straight and telling it to me like it is no matter how harsh or hurtful.

The idea is to learn from this, to forgive any wrong doings from the past and to take our learning’s to develop more healthy and positive friendships and relationships moving forward. I love Denise Marek’s upcoming piece on this - it made me feel really sad and really hopeful at the same time.

I’ll probably always miss my BFF and I will always be thankful her for her honesty, loyalty, courage and support through a very long friendship. I hope we both find the forgiveness and lessons from this experience we’ll need to create strong and healthy friendships in our future.
Jacq