The online dating phenomenon
I hear so many horror stories of online dating experiences gone wrong - very, very wrong. The list of misrepresentation, stalking, poor online and offline behavior and outdated photos has become endless and incredibly discouraging. Yet so many people are still meeting online and some of those couples are even tying the knot! So what’s the problem with the online dating model?
A survey not too long ago claimed that if you give a man 20 pieces of cheese to choose from, he will have a difficult time making a selection. However, give him 3 types of cheese and he will quickly make his choice. The concept works similar for women although I believe we are better trained to make a quicker selection in a sea of choices thanks to our experiences shoe shopping or navigating stores like Winners.
So there are plenty of choices online but I don’t believe the problem stops there. Now, take an average person who probably doesn’t get a lot of attention from the opposite sex on a daily basis. All of a sudden, they log in to their online account and there are several smiles, winks or messages just waiting for them. It’s like Christmas morning! In one day they have gone from flying under the radar on a daily basis to a whole new online world where they are receiving more attention than they ever dreamed possible. Whether it goes any further and leads to a date doesn’t seem to matter. And if this attractive and smart person is interested in them - you can bet they think there’s more where that came from. And now we are back to our original dilemma with the cheese selection.
A recent documentary profiled 5 candidates who shared their online dating experiences. The last one was probably the most outrageous but you can’t say you didn’t see it coming. The couple meet as avatars through Second Life. They spent their hard earned money purchasing online objects they will never touch or wear such as $500 jeans. They fell in love and spent most of their time in their exotic island cabin that could never exist. He was buff, handsome, 20 years and 20 lbs lighter than in reality and she was a buxom babe also about 20 years and 40 lbs lighter than in real life. The two shared an online love in a world where they could be who they wanted to be, not who they really were. And they never had any desire to meet in person. That might destroy the fantasy.
Online dating is a fabulous dating tool for those of us who lead busy lives, are selective and have drained the supply of ‘friends of friends’ for dates. But you have to be tough, you have to persevere, you have to make choices but most of all, you have to know when to take online, offline and just enjoy a real relationship- warts and all.
